10 Reasons Freddy Krueger is Better than You

Ok so it’s time to play a game; it’s called “Finding the Good in Absolutely Everyone” and it is an extremely healthy way to live your life. Anyone who’s ever fallen in love with a death row inmate knows exactly what I’m talking about here. So let’s get this round going with one of my very favorite psychopaths and all around awesome guy Mr. Fred Krueger!

Need your back shaved? That's just the kinda guy he is.

10. FASHION SENSE- Freddy isn’t your typical ‘worn brown jumpsuit and work boots’ kind of guy. He needs a little flair and he understands that in this world to get ahead you have to stand out. Plus he clearly stole Indy’s hat which is pretty badass.

I mean c'mon, ANYTHING to keep this d-bag from getting it.

9. HE LOVES KIDS-  Ok not in the strictly legal sense but you have to admit he seems to care about them way more than their idiot parents.

“Mom this guy keeps trying to kill me in my sleep!”

“That’s nice dear. Here I made you a nice glass of warm milk laced with NyQuil.”

The sniffling,sneezing,coughing,aching, so that's what my intestines look like medicine.

8. STICKS IT TO THE MAN- And I mean who can’t get behind that? He doesn’t even have to hide from the police. They know who’s killing people and there isn’t a damn thing they can do about it. Also he’s been dodging his taxes and student loan payments for years.

These guys actually work for Sallie Mae.

7. UNDAUNTED OPTIMISM- Not even being dead can keep Freddy from doing what he loves best. You go ahead and tell me the last time you even got up to get the remote with a head cold.

See what you can survive with a 'can do' attitude?

6. HE’S CRAFTY- Not in the cunning master of strategy way-which he also is; but in the “You made a scarf? Oh that’s nice I knitted an anatomically accurate model of the human brain” way.

Yeah. He's like that.

5. HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR- There isn’t a thing on the planet this guy doesn’t find funny. Eating a stoner as a giant Lewis Carroll reference? Hysterical.  Putting a human in a Roach Motel? Ironic genius. This guy will laugh at anything and I’ll chuckle right along with him.

If you can't laugh at yourself...

4.HE THINKS OUTSIDE THE BOX- Closely related to No. 5. Freddy is a creative thinker I mean why just stab you to death with his razor fingers when he could pull out your arteries and make you dance like a goddamn marionette?

I wish I weren't a real boy!

3. JOHNNY DEPP- His very first movie kiddies. And arguably one of his less trippy.

Freddy giveth...

and Freddy taketh away...

2. HE’S HOSPITABLE – He’s not like those other slashers, always trying to keep people out. My Camp, My House, My Deserted Road. No no Freddy wants everyone in on the fun. No dress code in dreamland folks you can come just as you are. And he always makes a point of saying “welcome” whether it’s to his world bitch or to prime time bitch; you always know Freddy’s glad to see you.

Wilkommen, Bienvenue....

  1. HE HAS HIS OWN JUMP ROPE RHYME- You sure as hell don’t.
You are sooo not cool enough for them.
So there you have it everyone has their good qualities.
Your admiring Screamstress,
– Fright Dyke
note: all movie stills are property of New Line Cinemas

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