DVD Tuesday…on an actual Tuesday who knew?

Yeah not gonna lie folks,

This week is pretty damn thin in the horror department, so it’s time for another round of ‘movies I would like to see that aren’t actually currently available to me…’

This time we’re headed into outer space with the lunar creature feature Apollo 18.

Reptilian looking footprints are always a good sign

So basically my understanding of the premise is as follows. We’re going to see a moon mission the USA never told us about; because it turns out the little green men are a lot closer than mars and a lot more dangerous than anybody with the first name Marvin.

Though some Marvins have risen to greatness

Anyway, the events of the film are supposed to be the ‘reason we never went back’. Don’t believe me? Have a look.

 

So essentially this is Apollo 13 + Alien with a hefty dose of conspiracy theory thrown on top. Let’s give it a 3×3.

All Systems GO:

1. This is the kind of scifi I like (note the spelling this is critical) I want to know what happens when human ambition and advancement backfire in a major way. Like you know a space crab crawling around in your helmet which you can’t take off. It’s like when you put your shoe on and you realize there’s a spider in it…except you’re way more fucked.

2. It’s found footage; which is a style that I still haven’t given up on and in fact quite enjoy, mostly because they CAN’T make it in 3D.

3. I need to know where that dead body came from, I mean they’re implying something terrible has already happened up there. Possibly to a foreign explorer or to an american astronaut and the US KNEW the whole freaking time! If this does well at the box office I think Michael Moore found his next semi-factual documentary premise. Hell he could just slap his name on the DVD cover.

God bless Ridley Scott...for making this all possible.

Abort Countdown

1. It’s set in space; this can get tricky. If all goes well they’ll use the environment to enhance the creature hijinks. If it all doesn’t go well…well we’re looking at an hour and a half long, found footage style doc on ‘how many ways can an astronaut die in space?’

2. It’s found footage, I know I just said I liked the style but even I recognize that this is a gild trying desperately to jump off the lily. So I’m still waiting for the first truly awful mainstream found footage flick. I don’t want it to be this one but so far we’ve had a pretty good run, which increases the opportunity for sucktasticness exponentially.

3. Conspiracy theory movies tend to have gaping plot holes and I’m kind of a stickler for that kind of thing. They sort of expect that you’ll be so appalled by the turn of events on screen you won’t question how they occurred. Besides wasn’t the moon landing a fake anyway?

Your ‘I totally know the moon landing was real, take your finger off the send button’ Screamstress,

~Fright Dyke

P.S.    Oh right movies came out today…if these can be called movies…

The Reef- Hey it’s another shark movie! It’ll probably blow chunks….I’m still going to watch it though.

Monsterwolf– Ahem…Syfy original people aaaaaaannnnd done.

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