Movie Review-Pet Sematary

Hi Folks,

 

Yes as a matter of fact I do know its Thursday, guess what…I don’t care.

 

Ok I do...but I'm not sorry

 

 

 

 

Ok I AM! I AM! SO INCREDIBLY SORRY...

But anyway today is undead Wednesday…yes it is.

 

So we’re going to rack up our third, count that third Stephen King movie this week and the last…till Cujo on Monday.

 

Lemme guess...Maine again?

 

Pet Sematary

 

 

Fast Facts

 

Made in 1989 and directed by Mary Lambert it is as I’ve already mentioned, another from Stevie’s vault of horrors.

 

Pictured: Clive's box of horrors, but King's is very similar...

This one focuses on the Creed family who’ve just moved into a new house in the country. When the family cat meets with tragedy, the advice of a neighbor leads to a startling discovery, the further application of that advice leads to some seriously fucked up shit. Including undead creepy toddler which makes me seriously question my desire to procreate.

 

As do these

 

Cast

 

Don't worry we won't make you be in the sequel

Dale Midkiff- Plays Louis Creed, the new doctor in town and the hero of our story. Midkiff is occasionally wooden but overall does a passable job of it.

 

that grin look a little off to you?

Denise Crosby- Plays Rachel Creed who as a character is sort of unlikable but that’s not Crosby’s fault. Does a really nice job with the emotional scenes and Rachel has a lot.

 

Hey that's Herman Munster!

Fred Gwynne- Plays Jud Crandall, and does a great job, but all you’re thinking the entire time is ‘ Hey that’s Herman Munster!’.

 

The only true innocent in all of this...

Blaze Berdahl-Plays Ellie Creed, the Creed’s daughter who is apparently mildly psychic and by virtue of being 7 extremely irritating.

 

He's the FRIENDLY mutilated ghost

Brad Greenquist- Plays Victor Pascow, a benevolent ghost who tries to warn the family of their mistake. One of the better performances in the movie.

 

Oh look at the adorable toddler...you know this is a horror movie right?

Miko Hughes-Plays Gage Creed, a toddler who unfortunately should have stayed dead. Considering Mr. Hughes was about five or so at the time he does psychotic very well.

 

 

Observations

 

 

You’ve got to love cautionary horror. Like every other story with a message this one gets a little heavy handed at times. That being said for the most part the story itself is well crafted though fairly predictable.

 

Exhibit A: Everyone knows no good can come of this

I think it’s notable that it involves the scariest cat I’ve ever seen.

 

Excuse you?

 

He has creepy glowing eyes...

 

We're not speaking.

 

He's undead!....He's Dead Cat

 

NOT....speaking....to you....right now

 

Thank god.

 

Anyway…

 

 

For the record…where the fuck are those accents supposed to be from?! It’s Stephen King so it’s New England somewhere but I mean come on NO ONE talks like Fred Gwynne does in this movie.

 

NO ONE

 

The thing that makes cautionary horror bearable are the scares. Pet Semetary has a pretty decent crop for a movie of this type and thank goodness for that. I mean one of the key scenes in the movie is a toddler getting run over by a semi, we’re gonna need some distraction here.

 

Of all the shit I've posted on this website this is the only photo I have questioned ever...yes it's a movie still...no i still feel wrong.

 

Of particular note are…any of the scenes involving Rachel’s sister Zelda, the first time we see Victor and anytime undead Gage speaks.

 

This is Zelda....OMG

Creepy kid movies generally aren’t my thing but this one amps the scare factor by having Gage still sort of act like a sweet little kid. Most movies of this type either through bad child acting or bad screenwriting create overly serious height challenged villains. Pet Sematary gives Gage a childish playfulness when he laughs at his father’s unfathomable pain and horror.

 

Yeah he used to be cute right?

The ending is actually my favorite part of the movie. I mean the cautionary tale is always at it’s best in the payoff, the moral of the story has to have the most punch. Watching undead Rachel give Louis his comeuppance for cheating death, in slow motion as a final shot was a nice touch.

 

Dude....nasty.

The one major beef I have with this movie is that it’s pretty slow to get going, and by that I mean that it feels like over half the movie is exposition, Gage doesn’t die till almost a full hour in.

Of course we have good old Zelda to pick up the slack

 

Also, listen through the end credits to hear the Ramones selling their collective soul to Stephen King.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Pet Sematary is an unusually good example of cautionary horror, the scares are well executed and the cast does a nice job overall, but it’s slow pace and predictable plotline leave you feeling a little flat. Like just run over by a semi kind of flat.

 

But it does get the point across. Sometimes dead IS better.

 

Like WAY better...hey that's Herman Munster!

Finally I would like to thank the great Fred Gwynne for giving us wonderful South Park spoofs of the ‘that road’ shtick. Even if he is the WORST neighbor ever.

 

Best Thing Ever

All in All a respectable 7 out of 10.

 

 

 

Your King’d out Screamstress,

 

 

~Fright Dyke

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