Ok I give

Hey Folks,



So it’s October 18th. I’ve posted five reviews.



It’s more like the refrigerator, but I refuse to post that



Top Ten Reasons Shocktober is Officially Off





10. Baseball.



Ok we’ve been over this before, I’m kind of a huge Yankee fan. Now despite the fact that by the time I write this they will have been completely obliterated by the Detroit Tigers and the season will be over, when they had a shot at the title, those extra inning, high emotion games were taking up a lot of my free time. I’m sorry I just can’t concentrate on The Blob when Derek Jeter is writhing on the ground in pain and I’m having a panic attack.



9. I sort of have a full time job.

I’ll even give you a hint


Now given I did last year too. But that job sucked and wasn’t really terribly labor intensive. The new one has me lifting and bending and running around like a crazy person to the point that I am completely exhausted when I get home. I have bruises on my bruises and while that’s a really good look for a Final Girl, my life isn’t supposed to be a horror movie.



8. My Xbox.


Hey there pretty lady

When a woman and MLB2K11, and SKyrim, and Fable and Left 4 Dead, love each other very much, and the woman is exhausted and therefore can’t really function above a third grade level. The woman picks up this thing called a controller, and spends her time thrashing the Red Sox, or dragons, or balverines, or zombies. Instead of just writing about zombies.


I really wish i could say I was as cool as her in real life

7. I’m back in school.


Judgemental Owl says I should be studying

I don’t have a single day completely off, ever. I go to school on the days I’m not working, this is with the goal in mind that I will someday not have to do the bending and the lifting and the rocking back and forth in the fetal position whenever someone asks what the difference is between a Riesling and a Moscato. Unfortunately on top of the time commitment to go to class I’ve also got Homework, which is usually frankly about the same amount of writing as your average movie review…so you see the dilemma?



6. Wall Cat’s totally phoning it in.

I don’t mean to point fingers here. But there is someone on this blog who hasn’t been pulling their weight. Also he thinks I don’t see him looking at porn during staff meetings…but I do…and it’s gross…and this has been creating a completely non-productive and hostile work environment. Seriously Mega Chinchilla has said it makes him really uncomfortable.


5. The Presidential Election.


There are seven news sources up there, one of them might even be telling the truth

I know I usually make a point of not talking politics on here, which is something I think is an extremely good decision, the problem is I am completely addicted to 24 hour news now, so between baseball and the 10 hours of analysis leading up to and away from every appearance by either candidate, doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for the movie watching. Also I’m going to need blood pressure medication by November 6th.


4. I’m phoning it in.


I swear this is what comes up when you google image search that

Let’s face it here, I’m clinging to the format like Kate Winslet clings to a suspiciously large piece of debris in the Atlantic. I’m doing the bare minimum just to be able to say I did it. It’s not funny, it’s not sexy and since those are the only two personality attributes I value….it’s total shit guys. I’m sorry.


3. Seriously guys I’ve seen The Birds four thousand times.


Don’t go in there…aw fuck it go in there

I don’t think this needs much explanation. I picked the wrong damn movies for this year. There are a lot of them that I frankly just don’t give a shit about watching again. This is largely because I’ve seen them a whole bunch, don’t get me wrong, at some point I’ll probably review all of them, I just think it was probably a bad idea to try to do them all in a row.



2. I’m actually attempting to have a social life.


It’s been a while

With all the previous time commitments we’ve already discussed I left one out. I actually do occasionally leave my apartment, and Bright Dyke is the one person I seem to talk to that isn’t a figment of my imagination. I would like to change that for my own personal well being. Plus not for nothing, I’m a lot funnier when I’m not a miserable recluse.



  1. I don’t want this to feel like work.


You should always enjoy what you do

Ok this is the biggie. I started this blog when I was unemployed to give me something to do during my day. Something I enjoyed and felt satisfied doing. I kept doing it after I got a job because I enjoyed it so much. Last October I had a fucking blast doing this.

This year not so much. I think I committed the cardinal sin. I made this a chore. I made it something I had to do instead of something I wanted to do, and not only am I not having a good time because of it, I can’t imagine that you’ve all been enjoying reading my half-assed, ‘I’ve got twenty minutes’ posts.



He’s not impressed with my work lately

So Shocktober is off this year, not completely. I’m going to pare down the list to movies I actually wanted to watch this month and get back to you with something more closely resembling our regularly scheduled programming.


I’m also gonna do a couple more top ten lists, because they’re fun, and I can in fact write a good one in an hour,




So with the white flag officially waved, I expected to feel a lot worse but honestly, I reman:




Your surprisingly relieved Screamstress,






~Fright Dyke


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